Breeze on By

Everything's Sunny, Everything's Right, Yeah! Summer Days And Nights Just Breeze On By*

Friday, March 31, 2006

Dear Diary...

It's Friday. It's the last day of the month. This means that Kt and I are going out for dinner and adult beverages tonight. WooHoo. I really could use an adult beverage. Been looking forward to this all month.

Gonna spend a little quality time at the mall too. I need to buy some new pants. I hate doing that. It has developed into an emergency situation. I would also like to find a pair of shoes. I hate that too.

Tomorrow, going to drive 2 1/2 hours to go visit my parents. Haven't been to visit them since last July. I really am a bad daughter. Then Sunday I will drive the 2 1/2 hours home. I really have way too much to do to prepare myself for the crazy schedule I am inflicting upon myself next week to be going away for the weekend. But.....dust will keep if you don't get it wet. And who knows when I will get another weekend off.

I'm listening to a new yahoo radio station on launchcast. Gay Club Mix. It discos. Great choice for Friday afternoon.


Wednesday, March 29, 2006

It's Official

I'm a college student. I'm not thrilled with the way financial aid turned out. But, I have to look at this as an investment in me. And if I wait until I can afford it, it's not going to happen. There is always something, ya know? So, next Wednesday night, I go back to school. OOOH - I'll get to buy school supplies! Am I too old for a Hello Kitty backpack?

I am taking 2 classes this term - Business Ethics and Success Strategies. Hope I can do this. I'm a wee bit nervous about it. But, when I left junior college about a million years ago, I told myself I would finish my education at some point. Of course, this program isn't quite the bachelor's degree I was thinking of at that point, but it is what I want to do with my life. Only took me til 45 to realize it.

Of course, the "bad" news....I will now have to tape Lost, but, I do that already. I will miss the last two Wednesdays of Muscle Work and the last 2 Cinema 100 films. Oh well.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Weekend Update

I'm sitting at my part-time job right now, so far it is quiet. Hopefully, it will stay that way, but, I doubt it. I work in the circulation dept of our local newspaper. And boy, if some people don't get their newspaper, it really is the end of their world. Most people are pretty nice about it. But just for the record....I do not know why your carrier didn't bring you the paper today. If I knew that....well, I would have to be psychic and if I were psychic, I would have won a huge Powerball jackpot, and therefore, would not need to be working a part-time job in order to support my yarn habit. In fact, if I had that Powerball jackpot, I would probably take up a more expensive habit, like golf, or travel, or dating young, hot studs.

Two days down on the 3 day challenge. Not doing too bad. I am having a problem getting myself to drink water. I don't really know why. This morning I had to be to work at 4:30 am and did not get a good breakfast prepared, so ended up having a ginormous muffin from the grocery store. Now, I must stay out of the vending machines....just 4 hours to go. I don't know what it is about this job, probably the stress, but I am always "starving" when I leave here. It is bad, because no matter which way I go home, there is a McDonald's or a Wendy's or a Taco John's on the way. It's just way easier to pick up a bag of fast food rather than go home and make something healthy. And, I am all about easy.

The story of Cathy and S, is a long, stupid and fucked-up one. Not gonna bore y'all with the details. Let's just say, it's over. It needs to stay over. Every time we have been together, it has been awesome, but something always holds us back from making it. Mostly, his inability to realize that he is worth being loved. And other shit. I'm not going to allow him to break my heart again.

On tap for this afternoon, Tb wants more bread. I like making bread. So, guess I'll make some bread. He stopped by yesterday and noticed a few over-ripe bananas on the counter and said that some banana bread would sure taste good. Guess I may as well make some of that too. I have a French movie that I want to watch, should probably call Kt and see if she wants to come over and watch it with me. It's going to be cold, rainy, gloomy and windy today. Blech. Good day to hang out at home and bake and watch movies and do laundry.

Tuesday, I get the final results from the financial aid applications. I took a test on Tuesday last week and passed with flying colors and will not have to take any English classes. If all goes well with financial aid, I have orientation on Thursday night and start classes the following week. Oh my. Still not sure I want to go the student loan route. I hate paying those back.

Friday, March 24, 2006

3 Day Challenge

Since hurting my foot in December, I have become a major slug. I haven't been exercising. I have to take medication, with food. Which in my mind translates to: Eat as much of whatever you want. Guess what? I've gained a few pounds. And, I feel like shit. So, I have challenged myself to eating right for 3 days. I love the Weight Watchers program and I am daring myself to stick to the program for 3 days. In a row. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The days I most suck at eating right. I've survived 2 meals of day one so far. Even had a banana for a snack. Yay me.

Foot doc says swimming and biking are okay for now. Monday the pool re-opens at the Y. Back to my 5:45 am water aerobics class. And Kt and I have our muscle work class 2 nights a week. Gotta do it. I hate feeling like this.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

My Park

I have a favorite spot I like to go and eat my lunch. It’s a little park, not too far from where I work. It’s my park. It’s a nice, quiet spot to get away from work, from people and enjoy a bit of the outdoors. Even if sometimes it has to be done in the car with the heater going full blast. Sometimes just getting out in the daylight for a bit can change my whole disposition. I have been going to this spot for many many years. I even introduced the ex-boyfriend, S, to this spot.

Recently, S got a new work truck. And since he got the new work truck, he keeps showing up in my path. He especially likes to drive through the park when I’m eating lunch. It bugs me. I suppose I could quit going there, but I went there before we dated and I should be able to continue going there. Of course, I suppose there is that part of me that likes the fact that he is driving by to see me. And I suppose he thinks I’m there just so he can drive by and see me. But it is MY PARK AND I LIKE IT THERE. I’m over-analyzing the hell out of this. I’m stubborn and don’t want to quit going there. But now that Kt will be reading this, I’m pretty sure my car keys will be taken away when I get to work so I am unable to go to lunch.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Mental Jukebox

Kt and I are proposing a new blog. So, if you are reading this, you are either extremely bored or you like us. Go check it out and join us! We like group things. And we like challenges.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

*Insert catchy title here*

Today is meeting number two with the business college. Today, I talk to the financial aid people. This, is the do or die meeting. I have come to the conclusion that unless I can get a Pell grant or something like that, I will not be able to do this. Right now, my current job is paying the bills. My part-time job, allows me to buy yarn and have a little fun. But, I figure, I could pay for the books out of the part-time income. In about a year, I will have no credit card debt. Knock on wood. That will clear up a little more disposable income to help pay for more school.

I think I will stick with the business college idea. I really don't need a bachelor's degree to do what I am doing now. If I were to take the time and money to do the bachelor degree, I would probably have to come up with a new career path. I can't think of anything else I would like to do. Not right now anyway. I did tell my supervisor of my thoughts. He seemed pretty happy to hear it. He would like to be able to give me more human resource work. And, I would like to do more. Might just be a win-win situation for both of us.

Good news. I can still drink. Actually, I think I am actually better at drinking now. I have learned how to prevent a killer hang-over. The last two times I have gotten totally shit-faced I have done these two things, so it must be one of them that is the preventative medicine: 1) when I get home, I take a multi-vitamin with a big glass of water and force myself to stay up for an hour, then off to bed. or....2) make sure I kiss Kt. Of course, I suppose it could just be a comination of all of the above.

Bad news. I still can't dance. And really, I shouldn't dance. Now, on top of the torn tendon in my foot, I can hardly move my knee. Didn't feel a thing until Sunday morning. Was it the can-can or my really great John Travolta impersonation? I just don't know. Oh well, had a great time on Saturday night. The birthday girl had fun and was very happy that we came to the party. (drinking, live music and cake - why wouldn't we???)

Sunday I baked. I made two loaves of bread. Tb got one. And I did surprise him with some cookies too. Of course, mid-cookie-mixing I learned I was out of vanilla. Good thing he works in a restaurant so I could prevent having to get dressed and go to the store. I traded some vanilla for a few cookies. Hope his manager liked them. Hope his manager GOT them.

Monday, March 20, 2006

underbar känsla*

Awww, shucks!! Somebody wrote a limerick for me!

When Cathy goes out of her mind,
She'll write down whatever she'll find
That goes through her head,
From shower to bed;
And we laugh so our sides we must bind.

Thanks Mark! How you knew that I had done the majority of my limerick composing in bed and in the shower, I may never know. Actually, I may never want to know!

*underbar känsla is Swedish for "wonderful feeling".

Saturday, March 18, 2006


I had a meeting this week with the admissions office at a local college. For me. I am debating returning to school. I like the job I have now. I enjoy what I do, where I do it and for the most part, the people I do it with. However, I would like to do it better. And maybe kick it up a notch or two. More responsibility and of course, possibly more money.

So here is the debate going on inside of me: Do I want to invest the time and the money in another associate's degree which will basically enhance my current skills and stay with what I know? Or, should I be bold, be daring, go outside of my comfort zone and go for the bachelor's degree in business? Right now, I have the time to do this. Right now, I don't really have the money to do this. Up until now, I could have gotten tons of financial aid due to whole single-parent factor. But guess what? When you are a single-parent, it doesn't leave a whole lot of time or energy to devote to school.

I have another meeting next week with the financial aid office. This will probably have the largest impact on my decision. But, I won't know until I get there and check it out. I wonder how many good opportunities I have missed because I just didn't go check it out...

Tonight, we go out to celebrate a friend's birthday. Her hubby plays in a band and they have a gig tonight at one of my favorite liquor establishments. I should see if I can still drink as much as I did when I was in college the first time. That might be an important factor in my decision. If I can't hold my liquor anymore, why go to college?

* * *
In other news....Had dinner with Tb last night. He is doing well. I gave him a care package of groceries and laundry soap. I have a fear of him starving to death. He reminded me that he works in a restaurant, so not much of a chance that will happen. Oh well. He also paid down his debt to me a bit. He wants homemade bread, so I will probably bake tomorrow. Weather sounds crappish, so good day to stay in and make bread and maybe some cookies.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Happy St. Patrick's Day

I've been on a tear writing limericks today. You can find the best of them here and here.

Everybody enjoy being Irish for a day. And if you had a limerick in your comments today - it just means I like you.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Green Knowe

I forgot to mention my two "Green Knowe" books found at the book sale. When I was a kid, my favorite book was "The River at Green Knowe" by L.M. Boston. I found "The Children of Green Knowe" and "The Treasure of Green Knowe". I can't wait for a warm summer day to sit in the sun, read them and re-visit childhood.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Books by the Pound

A couple of weeks ago, our local library had a book sale. This is a semi-annual affair that makes money for the library from the massive amounts of books that are donated to them. They sell the books by the pound. A dollar a pound for paperbacks and 50 cents a pound for hardcovers. The last two sales have been holidays for Kt and me. We have taken time off of work to go and enjoy.

Kt has turned me into an old-cookbook collector. She has some really great ones in her collection, I am getting some good ones too. This sale I picked up "AmyVanderbilt's Complete Cookbook" copyright 1961, with illustrations by Andrew Warhol. I also got a Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook from 1947. This book contains a section on leftovers. No mention of just nuking them. hmmm. A Complete Potato Cookbook found it's way to my home, as did a cookbook for the working girl - circa 1950 something. Haven't read all my "new" cookbooks yet. That is an activity for Kt's deck, in the summer, when it is warm.

I picked up some cute story books for my even cuter niece. Tb was the recipient of "Memoirs of a Midget", he has a thing about midgets. And I got myself a few paperback novels. Some Dean Koontz, John Grisham, Lisa Gardner, to name a, I just need to make the time for reading. 17 pounds of books for the low low price of $10.00. Gotta love that.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Empty Nest Syndrome???

My son moved out 38 days ago. So far, I am loving it. I have never lived alone in my life. Well, there was that 3 months and 7 days back in 1987, but I had a person inside of me, so not really all alone.

It just seems when you attach the word syndrome to something, it should be painful. I guess what I am experiencing is Empty Nest Elation. I love my son. Really, I do. But for the last 7 years or so, it hasn't been so good between us.

I have been the only parent Tb has had. Single parenthood is hard. Really. It is. But back in those days, I was under the delusion that I could do anything I set my mind too. And I wanted him.

The past few years have been tough. Tb has been in and out of trouble with me, with the law, with drugs, and with alcohol. I was absolutely in the dark about how bad some of his problems were. He lost two friends to suicide when he was 16 and another to an accidental death (drug-related) when he was 17. I am 45 and have never had a close friend die. Tb is stubborn, like his mother. Actually, he is way more like me than he will ever admit.

A year ago, he got into trouble and was sent to a youth detention center. This, was quite possibly one of the best things that could have happened. I firmly believe that if he hadn't gone there, he would not have graduated from high school and would quite possibly be in prison right now. Or dead. After he came home, he did some community service and went back to work. He also was subjected to drug and alcohol counseling and random drug testing. He did manage to stay clean the whole time he was under the jurisdiction of the state's juvenile system.

However, I'm certain that the drug use started up soon after the testing ended. Because that is when things just got ugly at home. He wanted to stay out all night, sleep all day, work hard at two jobs and yet, not have any money just days after being paid. hmmm. Some of those bad habits are expensive.

Well, he is moved out. And, he seems to be doing suprisingly well. Having some money difficulties, but that will work itself out eventually. He and I have gotten together a few times for a meal and we are getting along better than ever. I see glimpses of a decent human being emerging. And, I'm hoping that with the added expense of rent, food, clothing, utilities, etc, etc, cuts down on the amount of disposable income for buying pot. That may explain the positive personality changes I see. He says he has quit smoking cigarettes. He is talking about going to college in the fall. Hasn't picked a major yet, he says there is just too much to pick from. I didn't go to college until I was 24. It's okay to wait if you aren't ready.

In the meantime, I am using the spare room to sort through stuff. When I feel like it. Doing it slow, doing it right. Seems like when I start these projects on the dining room table or the living room floor or the bed, I get distracted, it doesn't get finished and lands back in a pile or box or whatever all over again. I sleep through the night instead of worrying where he is. The toilet seat is always down when I go into the bathroom. There are no hairs left all over the sink from shaving. No dirty dishes left all over. No cake in the middle of the floor. I can do housework nekkid.

I know that if he ever moves to another town, I will miss him terribly. But for right now, this is working. He is just a phone call away if we need to see each other - about a 10 minute drive. And, he works at my favorite restaurant. I should go out for lunch.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Llama Song

It's Monday and the world needs a good laugh: The Llama Song

Movie Night

I had big plans for last night. My friend Kt and I have gotten into a nice routine of "movie night". We both like the same sort of movies and we both belong to Netflix. So one night a week, we get together and watch movies. Well, for last night's movie night, we deviated from the plan. We only had one movie, a German musical called "Schultze Gets the Blues". So, in honor the German movie, I decided to cook some German food. I found a great recipe on for Bierocks, a German meat turnover. And I have a fun, easy and low-fat recipe for a black forest-like cake that was to be for dessert. And, the biggest change of all.....we invited an outsider for our normal "girl time". Kt's new beau. He's a nice guy and we have all worked in the same building for a couple of years so, it wasn't like a stranger coming over or anything.

Well, here is how the evening turned out. First, my cake had to be changed. I bought the wrong kind of angel food cake mix. Second, in the insanity of cleaning up the apartment, I threw out the recipe for the bierocks. Okay. Well, went ahead and made the cake. Same ingredients, just a different spin. Instead of just mixing in the cherry pie filling, I served it on top of the cake. It actually turned out quite good. The bierocks? I had read the recipe earlier in the day so had a pretty good idea what to put in them, just not too sure on amounts. They turned out quite good. I did forget the worchestershire sauce though.

And Third, the best part. We go to put the movie in......and the damn thing is cracked! Completely split. Damn Netflix. So we ended up watching "The Guru". This, is a great movie. Kt and I have watched it alot. We love it. The new beau, hadn't seen it, but I think he liked it. If not, he pretends well.

So, Schultze will have to be rescheduled for another time. A German musical....just sounds so good.

After the movie, we listened to a few songs off a new cd set I just purchased, Songs that were famous before Kt was born. Big hits of the 70's. I still after a couple of years, find our friendship a bit odd because of the age difference. But it works.

So, despite the bumps along the way, the evening was nice. The food was good, the movie was good and the company - excellent.

Sunday, March 12, 2006


I've developed a curiosity about Sweden lately. Well, maybe it's about anything Scandinavian, but mostly been checking out Swedish things. I think it started last year when I saw the movie "Kitchen Stories". Which I believe is a Norwegian movie, but it is about a Swedish study. Great movie.

Before I go any further, let's back track a bit. I am half Scandinavian. If you want to get technical, I am 1/4 German, 1/4 Irish, 3/8 Swedish and 1/8 Norwegian. We were always closer to the Scandinavian side of the family than the German/Irish side, so I feel as though my roots are Scandinavian. My family thinks the Norsk Hostfest is a holiday and usually gathers every year in Minot to celebrate. I became a fan of Kjell Andersson and the Swedish Culture band there....

I remember Christmas eve always meant Swedish meatballs (yum) and lutefisk (eww). There was always lefse at every holiday meal, Grandma made the best! I even made Swedish meatballs for Christmas eve this year and introduced my Irish friend's family to lefse. They put gravy on it. That, is just wrong.

If memory serves, my Swedish ancestors arrived in the states in the 1890's. This is something I would like to delve into more deeply and really have no excuse for not doing it. Oh wait, basically lazy.

My netflix account has been helpful in finding movies. I've enjoyed all of them that I've seen. "Songs from the Second Floor", "Under the Sun" and "Elling" were great. I have a few more in the queue that I am anxiously awaiting.

I have found a few blogs written by Swedish people in English that I am enjoying reading. I found the Local - Sweden's news in English which has lead me to various other websites including an internet radio station. That played some ABBA. Gotta like that. I don't understand a word the dj's are saying, but it's fun to listen to.

I think my curiosity about Sweden is probably ingrained in my being. I'm enjoying my new "pastime". I like learning new things. If I learn anything really exciting, I'll be sure to blog about it.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Past, Present, Future

My first post. Where do I start?

Past? Well, there's 45 years of that. Might take up too much room.

Present? Hmmm, not much going on right now.....

Future? What am I? Psychic?

Oh well, guess every blog has to have a first post and I suppose every first post can't be a literary masterpiece. And I can assure you, this blog will never be confused with great literature.

I have been posting over on another blog - Truly Disappointing - but have decided to venture away from the group thing and out on my own. Find my own voice. And hopefully have a little fun doing it. So now that the first post is out of the way - whew - the rest will just flow. Yeah, right.